i wrote "i miss you" a thousand times and sent it out to sea in the clearest bottle i could find, hoping someone or something would find it and the message would somehow reach you. i don't think you realize how much time i spend thinking about the way a cigarette lays in between your lips, and how you would smirk and your eyes would scrunch up just a little and even just that could make my heart jump and beat with enough force to break through my ribs. you knew how to treat me, how to make me feel beautiful, and when you kissed my cheek the world froze, and i lept and skipped and all those other things people do when they've been touched by someone they love. i took those moments for granted and i feel like my timid tendencies got in the way of something that could've been as beautiful as the place we were standing when you grabbed my hand and smirked at the mountains and the sky.
even though it's been almost a year, i'm still a little sad.
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